Yo ho
by Dementia777
Summary: Ikkaku, as his normal schedule mandated, got drunk at the local bar till he could hardly walk and meets a devious beauty, who has more that he's interested in than the bald pirate. Pirate themed story. You have to squint to see any meaningful romance.
1. One Reason

This... This had to be done. I just had to. I'm sorry.

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Port towns were much like their inland counterparts. They had more beauty maybe, with their views of mystique, but like any other town they had gatherings of residences, shops, markets, bars. The like. They also had crime and their fair share of nuisances to deal with on a regular basis.

In particular, they put up with a rather large number of pirates that came to the docks, tired, horny and hungry from long voyages. More than often, they were muscular, loud, arrogant, violent groups of drunks and they had a habit of taking what they wanted without concerning themselves with the pain of paying for the items.

Ikkaku fit the stereotypical picture of a pirate perfectly. He was proud of his demeanor. The only thing strange about him as a pirate would be the fact that he long forsook having a crew in favor of strengthening himself alone. He had goals in mind, of being the strongest and finding a crew worthy of a member like him, but at the same time he decided he would be happy to go about the rest of his days challenging those who seemed to be strong.

With his goal so loosely drawn in his head, he wasn't the type of person to work more than he played while he was on shore. His favorite pass time was drinking bars dry, and he was currently engaged in the activity. He'd been at the pub for hours upon hours and wasn't even thinking of leaving until the bartender's loud and commanding voice boomed at him. "Hey, do you even have any money, bastard?"

Slurring his words horribly, Ikkaku admitted he didn't have enough to buy a single pint of beer.

The large bartender's face went red with rage and embarrassment for not weeding the poor man out ten sake bottles ago. He picked Ikkaku up by the collar of his shirt, which was surprisingly strong enough to hold all the while it's owner was being dragged. It could hardly be worth it, the bartender thought, to have drunken pirates come in and drink their own weight in booze without having the least amount of money to their names. He threw Ikkaku out with an angry sigh.

"Did you have to be so mean? His sword looked expensive." Yumichika chided the bartender. "You could have had it and paid for more than the sake he drank."

"You go chase after him, then," the burly man answered while shining some dishes. "I don't do bartering."

"Hm. I think I'll take you up on that," Yumichika replied and left with a sly smile.

When the bald man was sitting in the bar, he seemed to be almost resemblant of fine. He couldn't get out more than a few words without slurring his speech to the point you could just barely understand it, but that wasn't important. Pirates had horrible speaking skills in the first place however, now that Ikkaku was walking it was a wonder he didn't just fall into the ground and knock himself out. He truly didn't know his own limits, it seemed.

All the better for the beauty.

He caught up with the man, and even caught him as he stumbled. "Hello, I was just wondering if you needed any help?"

"Fuck no," Ikkaku answered slurring his words and tried to stand straight to demonstrate he was "fine."

Yumichika, hoping that the pirate was a stereotypical horny drunk, risked kissing him. "Would you like me to take you to my room?"

Ikkaku thought himself straight, and more than often would refuse someone so direct because it was just going to be a pain later, but it couldn't be said he wasn't a little bit attracted to the man who had just kissed him. Hell, whoever he was, he looked almost like a girl anyways.

Ikkaku nodded. He didn't have anywhere to sleep tonight, and the offer on top of just having a bed was too good to pass by.

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The plan, so far as Yumichika was concerned was dreadfully simple. Entertain the drunk until he fell asleep and take the sword. It wouldn't be the most pleasant of things, but he had done this multiple times before, with pirates rivaling the ugliness of this one.

Ikkaku, when he was drunk, worked with extreme simplicity, and blunt processes. When they were walking to the man's room, he stole some gropes and even a kiss when he managed to walk well enough to not fall over.

The breath he had was unpleasant, his mouth tasted of the bad food and cheap liquor that he'd been consuming earlier that day. If it could be called such, the "technique" he was using was sloppy and he was only concerned with his own gratification. Yumichika's only blessing in the situation was that the man was so drunk he may not even stay conscious long enough for them to do anything too unpleasant.

They walked into a small apartment with Ikkaku's clumsy drunken hands all over the beauty's small body. The door closed and Yumichika thought of how to tire the man out before they got down to do what he's sure the other thinks they came to do. If it was required, of course it would happen, but if it was avoidable Yumichika would find a way to get around it.

"Mm," Ikkaku hummed into a kiss. "Where's your bed?"

Yumichika led them over wordlessly, being overtaken by another awful and disgusting kiss, allowing himself to trip and have Ikkaku fall on top of him. The man was wasting no time, he started to throw his clothes off once they'd hit the bed.

"What're you doin'?" Ikkaku asked, as the beautiful man was just sitting on the bed.

Stalling, dumb ass, Yumichika thought. He couldn't quite say that, despite how stupid the man appeared, though. "I just thought you'd have more fun undressing me. Most like to savor their time in the presence of the most beautiful person they'll ever meet."

That went over the bald man's head. He didn't mind the idea of taking the clothes off his partner, though.

Ikkaku fumbled with the man's raggedy clothing for a while before getting him completely undressed. He was a sight, truly. Ikkaku wasn't used to having such a beauty doing it with him, willingly no less. How did a man like this even notice a drunk like him?

Yumichika, however, really didn't like the idea of giving himself to the ugly man before him. He would've rather done just about anything, so he chose a lesser of two evils. "Wait."

"Huh?" Ikkaku asked, he thought they had come to do it and get on with their lives the next day.

"Lay down."

"You like to be on top?"

"I aim to please, in more ways that one," Yumichika said with a mischievous smirk. "By the way, my name is Yumichika."

"Isn't it a 'lil late for sayin' our names?"

"I don't know what you could possibly mean. This isn't a first date, it's a one night fling. I just like to hear my name. You don't even have to tell me yours, if you don't want to," Yumichika said. He was being completely honest, too. Maybe it was his vanity shining through, but he liked for those who he pleasured to know his name whether he liked them or not, and he liked to hear his name pouring like thick honey from a lover's lips.

"Ikkaku."

"Whatever floats your boat, Ikkaku."

He was kneeling in front of Ikkaku, who had laid down as he was told (it was too much work being on top when he was practically passing out from the booze, anyways) and leaned down, wrapping the bald man's semi-erect member in his mouth.

"Fuck," Ikkaku hissed out and felt himself drifting on clouds. He was struggling to stay awake, despite his will to finish what he was doing it didn't seem to be possible.

Whoever this Yumichika guy was, Ikkaku found he wasn't new at this. He was amazing. This wasn't the first time he'd taken a stranger home, that was for sure, and Ikkaku was in heaven when he fell asleep.

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_Dear Ikkaku_

_ Don't be too angry with me. I had to take your sword, but you know how things are when you're very pressed for money, right? With someone like me, just having a chance is worth one little blade. Maybe if we see each other again I'll give you another night, in exchange for the right price._

_ Oh, and you may want to leave as soon as you can. You see, I'm not exactly sure who the room that you're reading this in belongs to. _

_ From;_

_ The most beautiful person you'll ever meet, Yumichika_

No way. That little piece of shit. He ran away? With the only thing Ikkaku cared enough to keep?

Hell no.

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	2. Wild Goose Chase

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Either the town was full of jealous gossips, or Yumichika made quite a negative reputation for himself.

It seemed that everyone in the town knew who Yumichika was. Very few of them had a single positive word they wanted to share, but they all knew the flamboyant and beautiful man.

After asking scores of people if any knew where he was or where he might be, he finally got something. Not much, but something. An old man selling fish, hunched over and perpetually squinting said that Yumichika had just stopped by to talk. He was the first to seem to have anything nice at all to say.

"Oh yes, he's such a good customer. 'Says my fish be the best in the 'ntire town. How 'bout that. Who says young 'uns can't be 'spectful to the old folks?"

"So, do you know where he is?" Ikkaku asked irritably. He had a hangover from hell and no patience for a senile old man rambling endlessly.

"Sure 'nough. He's back at the ol' sword shop. Says he got somethin' for sellin'."

Bingo, Ikkaku thought. If he hurried, he could stop the man for selling his sword. He ran without so much as thanking the man who'd helped him, engrossed in the possibility of finding who had stolen from him and teaching them a lesson.

"Yumichika!" Ikkaku shouted as he ran into the second-hand sword shop.

"Hm? Why would you be looking for him?" The owner of the shop asked curiously. She looked at Ikkaku as if he were completely and totally crazy.

"Has he been here?"

She shook her head. "No. I thought I just saw him walking outside, though."

"Dammit! Which way?"

The woman pointed left, in the direction she saw him walk past her shop.

"Is there another weapon's store that way?"

"Yes, a very old one. About six shops down, go back into an alley between a bar and an antique shop, you should see a shop there with a sign in the shape of a sword."

"Great!" Ikkaku shouted and ran out of the store, following directions exactly. The town, for being so run down, had a plethora of stores and despite them all being run down and rotting, they were moderately busy.

All the streets looked busy as well as uniform, all the buildings seemed identical. As if it weren't hard enough to find your way around a place you'd only arrived yesterday, he had to deal with such a maze.

After two wrong turns and asking directions from someone who appeared to be a local, he found the old shop that fit the woman's brief description.

"Yumichika!"

"Don't yell in my shop," An old woman who was hardly four feet barked. "Could I help you, or are you simply looking for the local troublemaker?"

"Have you seen him?"

"Depends on why you ask."

Ikkaku would have ripped his hair out if he had any. "He stole something from me. Where is he?"

"Hm. I'm not sure why, but he was going back to the center of town when he didn't like my price for the sword he brought in."

Of course. Does Karma have no mercy? Ikkaku ran out of the shop and found his way back to the market. There must have been a merchant for every and anything anyone could have possibly wanted. Perhaps Yumichika was trying to find someone who would give him more than the grumpy old lady offered?

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"Thanks, Granny," Yumichika said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Anything for my husband's number one customer. Stay out of trouble, would you?"

"Try to," he replied with a wink and proceeded to the back exit. "I'll bring you anything I find interesting, okay?"

"Thank you, young 'un."

Yumichika wondered just how persistent the bald man was. He doubted very seriously that he'd come back to the old lady's shop, but told her not to put the blade on display for a while if she could help it. The fact that he wasn't very fond of ugly people didn't apply to the old couple, they'd taken care of him whenever they found themselves able. It was the least he could do to sell them whatever he could find and buy their wares when he could.

But it might have been a stupid idea to rile up that pirate, he realized. A local was someone he never targeted, because they would never leave and therefore never be gotten rid of. Even though Yumichika was good at fighting, he couldn't deal with an eternal grudge. This pirate, though, looked particularly strong. He wondered what the man was really like when he was sober as he crept through the back alleyways.

"Found you," the very man Yumichika was thinking about said smugly and nearly gave him a heart attack. "It's a good thing there's plenty of people who ratted your relationship with those old bags of bones out."

"You shouldn't say such things, it's ugly. Besides, you should have realized someone as beautiful as myself has no interests in a person such as you."

"Is that so?" Ikkaku asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Of course. Now that you're sober at least, you should know things that are common sense, like that."

"I'm going to put this simply, give me back my sword and I won't kill you."

Yumichika scoffed. "You aren't serious, are you? I mean, of course I don't look like much, but I'm rather strong. I suggest you just walk away with your life."

There was no point in talking to someone like this, Ikkaku decided. Even without his sword, his fighting was somewhat effective in hand to hand. He lunged forward with a knock out punch.

The man wasn't lying though. He had enough experience in fighting to dodge the blow effortlessly and take the momentum of the strike to throw his opponent to the ground. "Don't use such weak techniques on a beautiful person like me. It's insulting if you think it's possible to hit me like that."

Ikkaku wasn't missing a beat. He rolled after the throw and picked himself up with more elegance than expected from a pirate.

Now Yumichika was interested. "You're not weak either."

"No shit."

"Well, this will be such an ugly thing, but I'll fight you. Seeing your eyes before death should be enjoyable."

"I didn't take you to be much of a fighter, pretty boy."

Yumichika shrugged. "The beautiful are always underestimated. But I didn't think you possessed even a small amount of skill."

"If you wanna fight me, then stop talking so much."

That was the best suggestion Yumichika heard in a while. He wanted a chance to use the style he'd work so hard on to perfect. It was deadly, graceful, accurate and almost so beautiful as to do justice to its practitioner. His movements were more like a dance that caught Ikkaku off guard, putting him into a daze almost while Yumichika closed the gap between the two and released a barrage of carefully aimed punches.

He had very little strength to go with his assault, but his attack managed to catch Ikkaku out of breath.

Retaliation was weak but put a stop to the volley of blows. Ikkaku grabbed the beauty's wrists and threw him against a wall in the small alleyway. The rotting wood creaked and nearly gave in as the lithe body was thrown into it.

To respond, Yumichika used to opportunity, though he could only barely breathe after being thrown like he was, to tackle his enemy. As good as Ikkaku was, the inevitability of losing a firm stance when throwing made him wide open.

Lunging for the throat, the beauty landed a firm hit on the Adam's Apple of his opponent. Even though he was still struggling to breathe normally and his back was screaming in agony, he didn't stop. A quick elbow to the chest and then tackle.

Ikkaku's endurance was as incredible as his adversaries. He threw Yumichika to the ground after avoiding the charge. They continued their battle with separate styles but equal power for hours upon hours until several walls had collapsed and neither were capable of so much as completing a sentence.

Both were crouching just off the ground and sweating buckets.

"You," Yumichika said gasping for air. "You aren't," pause again. "Too bad."

"Neither," Ikkaku replied, just as desperate for air as the other. "Are you."

"I," he paused to drink in much-needed air. "Told you."

"You can," Yumichika took in a deep breath. "Have the sword."

"Really?"

"Soon as," pause. "I can breathe."

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	3. Proposition

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They sat in the debris filled alleyway for what seemed like hours, although it was probably closer to mere minutes until Yumichika caught his breath enough to get up and get Ikkaku's sword. When he returned, he smiled brightly at the bald man, who was still struggling to catch his breath, and presented the weapon.

"Thanks," Ikkaku managed to get out between deep and paced breaths as he grabbed the blade. He tried to muster a smile, but he was too tired to show any emotion what so ever,

"You know, it's kind of strange," Yumichika said, but before Ikkaku had time to ask what was strange, he sensed the question. "You fight beautifully."

"Thank you," Ikkaku replied, able to speak now that he had most of his breath back. "Well, I think."

"I don't want you to get the wrong implication, but if you need a place to stay, I'll let you sleep at my apartment."

"I don't think that's-"

"Come on, if I had wanted your things I would have kept them, so I'm not going to steal, not to mention the fact that nothing else sexual is going to happen. I said I like your fighting style and think it's beautiful. Nothing about the practitioner."

Ikkaku blushed. "Who said I even wanted anything like that? I was drunk last time, but I but I'm not gay."

Yumichika shrugged. "Sleep out here, then. But there have been plenty of 'straight' people who left that idea in the dirt when I so much as gave them a fraction of a chance."

"What the hell ever, I'm only going with you 'cause it looks like it's gonna rain!"

"M hm."

"Don't 'm hm' me, you narcissistic bastard!"

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There were only a few buildings that hadn't been reduced to rotting masses standing only by some miracle in the entire town. Living so close to the ocean, caused wood to get wet and disintegrate from the inside. Renovations helped somewhat but to completely fix and protect the buildings would be too costly.

Yumichika had a room, surprisingly, in one of the stable sites. It was much nicer, and even somewhat well decorated in comparison to the rag-tag room he'd led them to randomly the other night.

Going straight to bed, the raven haired man pulled the covers to his shoulders and curled up. He was so exhausted from the match fought earlier in the day, he could hardly even remember where his room was. Luckily, he knew the feel of his bed. His gracefulness in climbing into bed, although subsumed from the norm, was in any event incredible he even cared enough to put on the air of perfection while so completely and totally fatigued.

Ikkaku wasn't sure if he was expected to sleep on the floor or in the bed. He assumed the first, and didn't mind in order to avoid any awkward positions or situations in the small bed, and began looking for an extra blanket he could use. The port towns, even in nearly tropic regions such as the one they were at, got dreadfully cold due to the air coming from water.

"Ikkaku, aren't you tired?"

"Of course I am."

"I'm not taking up all of the bed. It may not be extremely roomy, but there's enough space," he said rubbing his eyes and sitting up. "Besides, it doesn't matter, does it?"

"It's still weird."

"Oh well. I'm not having you shuffle around while I'm trying to sleep. Just lay down, I'll try to resist the temptation of reliving the wonderful memories of your disgustingly drunk ass trying to stay awake through intercourse. It'll be so very hard, but if you're straight and I have some sanity left, I'm sure we'll make it through the night," Yumichika said drily, and added; "My beauty sleep is not to be interrupted just because _you_ have an ego that should be considered legendary."

Ikkaku looked down, a little embarrassed, but with the crude sarcasm came a grain of truth. Neither of them were interested in the other, or if they were, they weren't about to admit it. He reluctantly crawled into the bed next to Yumichika.

It really was a small bed. Ikkaku could hardly lie down and not be touching Yumichika, but at the same time as he felt it was awkward, he couldn't bring himself to care enough. He was exhausted.

"Hey, Ikkaku?" Yumichika ask the moment before the man fell asleep.

"Hm?"

"Don't pirates normally have crews they belong to?"

"'Course."

"Why don't you?"

"I," Ikkaku hesitated. "Well, I just don't. I don't need one. Haven't met one with anyone worth spendin' my time and usin' my talent for."

"How long do you plan to stay here?"

"I thought you were tired. The whole point of getting in bed was to go to sleep, wasn't it?"

"Answer."

"Just however long it takes to get a boat and go somewhere else."

"Until then, stay here."

"Whatever."

Yumichika chuckled a bit. "I believe it's customary to say thank you, actually."

Ikkaku was either asleep or too annoyed to respond.

He figured the second. It wasn't beautiful to annoy those who were trying to sleep, though, so Yumichika ignored all the questions he wanted to ask.

Something was irking him. Something made him want to keep Ikkaku up all night, learning what he was truly like. But then again, that something seemed to be ugly and Yumichika decided it wouldn't even result in anything besides maybe being yelled at to shut up and go to sleep.

There would be plenty of time tomorrow to ask whatever he wanted, though.

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	4. Shouldn't Care

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If it weren't for the sun shining through an uncovered window, Ikkaku doubted he would have ever woken up. Sometime during the night, Yumichika must have gotten cold and was curled up against him, but it was hard to care about something so innocent and adorable. Even awake, though, he didn't want to get up. It was comfortable and warm in his position, and if he got up he knew he'd be subject to the cold morning air.

"Mm," Yumichika groaned at the light shining on his face. Not remembering that Ikkaku was with him, and thinking the man to be a pillow, he buried his face into Ikkaku's side.

"Yumichika?"

"Huh?" Yumichika's eyes shot open as he realized that there was someone else with him. "Sorry, Ikkaku, I forgot-"

"It's fine. You need to do something about the windows here, though."

"It's not worth the effort," was his reply as he pulled the blanket over his head and attempted to go back to sleep. They'd worked so hard and gotten home quite late. Plus, without the proper beauty sleep, his skin would lose its beautiful shine and his eyes would become dull.

It got rather cold when Yumichika pulled away, and Ikkaku wished it wouldn't be completely awkward if he scooted closer or pulled the man back. "Hey, Yumichika?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean what you said, about giving me a place to stay 'till I leave?"

"Of course."

"It might be a real long time 'fore I find a boat."

"I don't mind. As long as you don't mind me not being around much. I'm busy most nights, actually."

Ikkaku's stomach twitched. He had a feeling he knew why the man was busy, if he made a habit of taking men to bed for personal gains.

"I-i see."

"Don't think much of it," Yumichika said and cuddled back up against Ikkaku. "Sorry, I'm just cold."

"I don't mind, but." Ikkaku stalled. It wasn't his business, he shouldn't care what Yumichika did. He should be grateful for a place to stay, but it was hard to think that way. Of course he didn't think much of it when he was drunk, for the simple reason that he wasn't thinking much of anything. Sober, it wasn't a comfortable thing to know, especially considering that the man was beautiful and decent enough to return the sword he'd initially stolen and help an almost stranger out. "Never mind."

"Tell me," Yumichika popped his head out of the covers, and when he did so his face was hardly and inch away from Ikkaku's, and he was intently staring into the man's eyes.

Ikkaku's heart stopped beating and he jumped back a full three feet. "Don't do that!"

"What did you want to say then, and bring those blankets back. It'll be cold until the afternoon and I'm not letting you take the covers."

Ikkaku threw the blanker over. "Of course that's what you're concerned about."

Yumichika rolled his eyes. "Don't talk as if you know me."

"Whatever."

"What did you want to say, tell me," Yumichika persisted.

"Nosy."

"You should be more nice to someone who's gone out of their way to be kind to you."

"Yeah, you do that after you take my drunk ass to some random room, steal my shit and try to kill me."

"In my defense-"

"Just drop the subject."

Yumichika wrapped himself in the blanket again. "Suit yourself, but if you're going to be so mean then I don't need to play nice."

Ikkaku ignored what the man said and got back into the bed, taking some of the blankets by force and pulled Yumichika closer. "Shut up, it's too cold and too early."

"Humph."

"That's the most you're going to complain?"

"It _is_ too cold." Yumichika answered and pulled the blankets back over top his head, and backed into Ikkaku cuddling closer. "Don't think you're off the hook, though."

"Yeah, yeah."

Yumichika suddenly remembered something important to tell his friend, before he got too comfortable and forgot, or fell asleep. He popped his head back up in the same manner that almost gave the man a heart attack earlier. "Oh yeah, the woman you met at the swords shop yesterday says she'll give you a job for as long as you can stay, since you look strong."

"Don't do that, I said, dammit!"

Yumichika smiled and curled back up under the blankets. He knew Ikkaku wouldn't stay mad for long.

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"I hate that man," Ikkaku muttered as he stood at the entrance of the shop, holding a broom and covered head to toe in dirt, dust and sweat.

"What was that, dear?" The old shop keeper asked. The man who caused her dear Yumichika so much trouble was certainly paying for it today. Whether or not Yumichika deserved the trouble wasn't important at the moment.

"Nothing, ma'am."

"Yumichika said you're saving up to leave, so if you want your full pay you shouldn't be standing around talking to yourself."

"Yes, ma'am," Ikkaku answered grudgingly. If it weren't for the consequence of Yumichika trying to kill him, he would've done away with this woman awhile ago.

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Just as expected, no one was at the apartment when Ikkaku got there, a few hours after dusk (the old bat was crazy, keeping him so long). There was a little tug at him, even though he was tired, to go looking for Yumichika. A tug that, despite his previous reservations about the man, couldn't be ignored.

The bar that he'd been in the first night he'd arrived at the crappy port town was apparently one that Yumichika frequented. He was in the corner seducing some hairy gorilla that had a multitude of random piercings that seemed to be of some value, as well as a pair of decorative twin axes strapped to his back. Ikkaku was almost concerned that if the beautiful man made one wrong move, the drunken ape would embrace him and accidentally break him.

The bald man didn't go unnoticed.

Yumichika's eyes lifted casually, as if he were just making sure there was no one who looked like they may have had a few more valuables on them, or be more drunk and almost as rich, before he sealed the deal and took the ugly man to a random room around town, when he set eyes on Ikkaku. He seemed surprised for a split second, but then averted his gaze back to the horribly disgusting man he was seducing.

Ikkaku didn't want to let something like that happen, though. He didn't want Yumichika to do something so degrading. I wasn't becoming of someone so beautiful, someone with so much talent regarding his fighting skills, nor did it seem completely anatomically possible when looking at the size difference. The last reason graded on his mind and almost made him wonder, if the mental image wouldn't be completely frightening.

Ikkaku stood at the doorway for another thirty seconds, somehow unnoticed, before he regained composure an walked to a bar seat. For ten minutes, it seemed no one recognized him, and Yumichika continued without being deterred. Surprisingly enough, the raven haired man walked over to Ikkaku, after kissing the gorilla and excusing himself for a moment.

"What are you doing here? If you order anything, the bartender will remember you and get mad for not paying your bill last time."

"I just," Ikkaku had forgotten to come up with a reason for coming in the first place.

"Why are you here, Ikkaku?"

"I forgot I ever came here," Ikkaku lied through his teeth. Yumichika didn't seem to notice it wasn't the truth though, and it made some sense, seeing as the night he left, Ikkaku was too drunk to walk almost. Why would he remember the bar that had kicked him out?

"Well, it'll be in your best interest to leave before the owner notices you."

"Tch. I can handle myself."

"Right, because you did very well against me, and by the way I must weigh forty pounds less than you. Just leave before you get yourself hurt, or in trouble," he cautioned, seeming to genuinely care. Of course, Ikkaku couldn't build up the nerve to ask Yumichika to come back with him, and not go with that hairy ape instead.

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	5. Confrontation With the Ape

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Ikkaku didn't have to wake up. He'd been up all night thinking how he _should_ have handled what happened in the bar. When Yumichika walked in mid-morning the next day, he was sprawled out on their bed without particularly caring how cold it was.

"Ikkaku?"

"Hey."

Yumichika walked over. "Are you alright?"

"Eh."

"Give me an actual answer." There was a clank of the axes hitting each other, then the rustle of metal brushing and hitting against other metal in a bag while he was sitting his goods down. Ikkaku had to admit, he was good at what he did.

"Just a little pissed off."

"That you couldn't drink last night?"

"Nah."

"I made you leave?"

"Nu-huh."

"How long are we playing a guessing game?"

"Looks like it'll be awhile."

Yumichika sighed and went over to the bed. He didn't sleep at all last night. It took him most of the night to work around the bear's house and score all the valuables that he could carry. On top of that, he was busy occupying the man for quite some time seeing as he wasn't so drunk that he was going to pass out before they'd completed what he figured they went to a room to do.

"Hm... You don't like seeing someone else being stolen from like I stole from you?"

"Oh, so close. You're getting there."

"I'm too tired to keep guessing," Yumichika said and yawned. "I never can bring myself to sleep in the presence of anyone ugly."

"Hm?"

"I just said, I couldn't sleep around that behemoth even if my life had depended on it," Yumichika replied crawling into bed, pushing Ikkaku over from the center of the bed.

"I don't like the idea of you..." Ikkaku didn't finish. He didn't think he could finish.

It wouldn't have mattered either way. Yumichika was curled up against him and falling asleep. He had to leave either way to work for the old woman. When he got back, Yumichika would either be at another bar or out selling the items he scored where ever he was last night.

A few minutes passed before Ikkaku got up and left.

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"You!" The old woman shouted as soon as Ikkaku walked in. He was ten minutes early.

"Huh?"

"Where's Yumichika. He would normally stop by before now."

"Sleeping," Ikkaku answered simply.

"What? Is he sick? Why on Earth would he be sleeping so late?"

Didn't she know of Yumichika's occupation that got him all the weapons he sold to her? "He just came home late."

"I see. Well, get to work. I'm not paying you for chit-chat."

Ikkaku rolled his eyes, thinking he was barely being paid at all. It would be two weeks before he could afford anything to take him to another island.

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It was late in the afternoon before Yumichika woke up. He thought he should make a habit of sleeping in the daytime during the cold seasons. It was much warmer than sleeping at night, and Ikkaku wouldn't be around forever to be his personal heater.

More of a morning person than most people, Yumichika jumped out of bed and got his score from last night.

Yumichika wasn't exactly the muscular type, his physical strength definitely left a lot to be desired. He never really needed to be strong in battle to win, but sometimes he wished he was much stronger to make carrying what he scored from his "job" easier. Not to mention he had to run around the entire town to find someone to buy the odds and ends of what he scored. The old lady only dealt with weapons, and there was often so many more things he could find that would get him a good bit of cash, provided there was a merchant who actually wanted the stuff.

Once he had staggered out of his apartment and locked the door, he realized the gorilla he'd stolen from would still be angry with him. Now, not only did he have to make it across the entire town, he had to take a complicated route to get there. He normally had to take back passage ways, but he'd have to be extra careful today.

The man was twice his size, easily. Fighting him alone was an absolute suicide attempt. He decided to take the back winding alleyways, past seedy bars and adult entertainment venues that he used to work in before he found a much easier way of using his beauty to create money.

Nearly an hour later he made it to the shop, ducking behind dumpsters or barrels each time he thought he saw or heard the ape anywhere along the route. Once the man was so close, that he was speaking to someone a mere three feet away from Yumichika's hiding place talking about how much he wanted to kill the beautiful man.

He wasn't going to the old lady's shop, however. Yumichika was able to gain that from the short conversation the ugly man had with some merchants. He doubted that Yumichika would stay there for any length of time, and he had enough honor not to kill an old lady.

Yumichika breathed a sigh of relief and crept the rest of the way to his destination.

"Hey, Granny!" He called as he walked in.

"Yumichika, you're in late," she called from behind the counter.

"It's great to see you too," Yumichika answered and put the duel axes before her. "Anyways, I don't need money right now, so you can just have those." He lifted the bag that consisted of random jewelery and other valuables. "I'm going to sell these somewhere anyways."

"I couldn't just take these," the old woman protested.

"Fine. Tell your husband how much they're worth and I'll buy that much food from him."

She pouted, but knew Yumichika wasn't the type to be moved on issues once he'd made up his mind.

"Hey, Yumichika!" Ikkaku said walking out from the back of the shop. He was sweating and covered in dirt. It was only then that Yumichika realized the shop had never been so clean.

"Ikkaku," Yumichika answered, trying to hold back laughter. "Good afternoon."

"You're a fucking jerk," Ikkaku said, narrowing his eyes. "You didn't tell me this job would suck."

"Hm? But you're a pirate, I thought you'd be used to doing the dirty work. Besides, no one would hire someone who looked like you, and most everyone hates pirates in the first place here anyways."

Ikkaku frowned and continued to glare, but a blush was forming on his cheeks from embarrassment. "Look like me?"

"Glare at everything, carry around a sword, picks fights, just the typical angry pirate look."

"Tch. What the hell ever."

The woman smiled behind the counter. They were bickering like children would if someone cheated during a game.

"Oh, and if a big, ugly, hairy gorilla type guy comes in, well, you know what to do when he asks for me."

Outside, a rough gravely voice was booming. "I'm gonna just check 'nd see if that coward's been here yet or not!"

"You said you wouldn't involve the poor old woman, boss," an unknown voice criticized.

"Uh, speaking of," Yumichika said lowly.

"Hurry, under the counter," the old woman hissed and motioned for Yumichika to hide.

Ikkaku put his hand on the hilt of his sword for a moment, but then took it off as Yumichika hid. Nothing would look more suspicious, he thought. Instead, he picked up a broom and began to sweep.

The doors slammed open, the man had to duck a bit just to get through the door.

"Can I help you?" The old woman asked calmly, but with a tinge of annoyance. Ikkaku admired her acting skills, although that was to be expected from someone who must have to do things like this on a regular basis.

"Hey ol' lady. Had a pretty boy goes by Yumi-somethin' been here? Ya know, this tall, long hair-"

"Yumichika? I haven't seen him since about noon, I don't think. He told me he had something to sell me, but was too tired to bring it today," the old lady said, having already hid the axes.

"Ya sure then?"

"Why is it any of your concern where my husband's best customer is?"

Ikkaku's jaw almost dropped. The old lady was staring the man down, unafraid that he was much bigger than her. He felt that stepping in between the two might be the only way to stop a confrontation, but the intensity of the moment had him paralyzed.

"If you see him, watch out. He's nothin' but a dirty, rotten thief and he's gonna steal from ya if ya don't be careful."

"I'd like you to leave," the old woman said curtly.

"Fine by me, I just came to be checkin'," the brute said as he made his way out. Ikkaku, however, wasn't about to allow Yumichika to be insulted right in front of him. He shared his house, returned the sword he'd stolen and done a number of other kind things. Within an instant, Ikkaku had his sword drawn and put to the neck of the ape.

"You know, it's rather rude to come into a shop and not buy anything. Even more rude to shout and cause a commotion then just leave," Ikkaku said drily. His words were sharper maybe than his blade.

"Put your sword down 'fore I give ya a reason to be sorry."

"The worst thing that you did, though, was insult someone whose name you don't even know. Bastard."

"Ikkaku, put the sword down," the old lady instructed firmly. "Mister, leave. This is over."

"Tch," Ikkaku did as he was told and sheathed his blade. Even though the brute wasn't willing to leave so simply, he still felt it wrong to bring an old woman into a fight. He pushed Ikkaku halfway across the shop and left. There would be time to defend his pride later, now he thought he should just go before he brought the whole building down.

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	6. His Idea of Fun

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Yumichika left right after the incident through the back door. He didn't say much, besides telling both of the two not to work themselves too hard and giving Ikkaku a thank you.

A day of slightly easier work followed once Yumichika had left. Doing something nice for the man seemed to make Ikkaku tops in the old lady's book, and although he wasn't sure why, he wasn't going to complain about it.

"I'll see you tomorrow, watch out for my troublemaker."

"That sounds like a real pain in the ass, is that why you didn't make me work too hard today?" Ikkaku joked as he walked out. The main road was a quick walk through the alley, then only a ten minute stroll to his temporary home. He loved how the streets were empty nearly when the sun began to fall, making his trip easy.

"Get that bastard!" The familiar gravely voice from before barked. From around the corner Yumichika jetted out and dashed toward Ikkaku, although he wasn't much paying attention to where he was going. He hadn't even saw his friend yet.

"Yumichika, what the hell-"

The man ran into Ikkaku before he could finish.

"Dammit. Ikkaku, get up. They aren't going to be happy with you after the fiasco at Granny's shop," Yumichika jumped up effortlessly and pulled Ikkaku up with him, starting to run,

"Yumichika?" Ikkaku asked as he started to run. The gorilla came out from behind the alleyway where his prey was running from. A mob of his friends followed close behind.

"Long story. We have to lose these guys!"

"Lose them?"

"Unless you want to fight them with me," Yumichika teased and ran into a thin alley, jerking Ikkaku's arm so he would follow.

The idea was almost appealing if they weren't in such a bad place for fight back. Maybe in a more open area he would've called Yumichika's bluff and actually went through with it, but at the time it was a suicide attempt. "Fuck no!" Ikkaku replied and kept up with his friend as best as he could. "These guys don't know where your place is yet, do they?"

"Nah, I've been stringing them along all day. They've got not the slightest notion."

"Idiot, you're going to get yourself killed."

Before the thugs chasing them even reached the alleyway Yumichika had chosen, he found a thinner path yet that Ikkaku could only just make himself fit. Once they'd gotten inside, the beautiful man smiled as he put his index finger to his lips in a silent effort to ask his friend to be quiet. They inched their way through as they heard the thundering footsteps of the mob run by, and ended up on the main street they'd been on before taking the first alley.

"I think it's about time to go home, huh?" Yumichika asked rhetorically.

"Are you trying to get me killed?"

"Of course not," he answered. "If that's what I wanted I would've killed you in your sleep already."

"Very funny," Ikkaku grumbled.

"I'm serious, if I had wanted to kill you, you'd no longer be alive," Yumichika insisted. "But I have something interesting to say about the person who I was being chased by."

"What's that? And please, keep anything weird that may mentally scar me out of the conversation."

"He's a pirate. Those thugs chasing us were his rag-tag crew," Yumichika said with a smile. "I wonder why all pirates seem so brutish. They say the ocean is relaxing and beautiful, but those who live on it drink like there's no tomorrow, fuck everything with a pulse and are some of the most violent people I've ever met – fetish freaks, too."

Ikkaku blushed. "I said keep that shit to yourself!"

Yumichika in turn laughed. "I couldn't help it, your reactions are priceless."

"Tch. Where are we going, anyways?"

"Well, permitting we stay out of sight from those brutes, we'll be heading home."

Ikkaku thought the idea was good. He only hoped not to run into the brutes again.

"Oh, I just had a thought!"

"I'm sure that's new for you, but you shouldn't announce it so loudly."

Yumichika smiled, ignoring the poor com back. "Are you too tired to do anything?"

Ikkaku raised an eyebrow. He wasn't sure where this was going, but it wasn't positive. "Meaning what by anything?"

"Fun."

Ikkaku wondered what exactly the other man's idea of fun was before he dared to say anything.

When he didn't answer, Yumichika tugged on his arm and lead them to the docks. "You need a boat, don't you?"

"You're insane."

"Let's take that gorilla's boat!"

"Let's?"

Yumichika nodded. "I know a little cove, not too far from here. We'll take it there and he'll be none the wiser, it'll be hidden and you can leave. You don't like it here anyways, right?"

That was just the opposite of how it really was. "What makes you say that?"

"You said so before, just come on. It's kind of big but it's nicer than something you could buy with a lousy amount of money from working for Granny," the man urged and tugged on Ikkaku's arm.

"I really don't feel like fighting guards," was Ikkaku's lame excuse. Of course he wanted to fight, now that he wasn't running. But at the same time, he didn't want to leave so soon.

"I'll handle it."

And with that, he started climbing the ladder onto the boat, and Ikkaku was pretty sure it was too late to turn around. He reluctantly grabbed the rope ladder and started climbing.

"I 'hought you'd be here!" The gorilla was on the deck.

Yumichika pulled his friend up and frowned. "This is an ugly situation."

"I'd say so."

"Let's push them off deck."

"You're crazy! What the hell is wrong with you?"

His friend pouted and glanced at the brutish crew. "I think we can take them, you have your sword and I have some twin knives."

"You..." Ikkaku shook his head. "You're fucking insane!"

"Hey, what're you two lookin' at each other and talkin' like that for?" The obvious captain of the ship asked in his raspy gravely voice, more than likely caused from drinking and smoking for years without knowing any restraint.

Ikkaku glared at him. He was tired from a long day of search and running around after the beauty, but Ikkaku had a lot of his day interspersed with breaks and Yumichika hadn't broken a sweat, either. The crew was tired as well as enraged. They probably could win this fight.

"You know this is still fucking crazy," Ikkaku said, drawing his blade.

"If you say so, Ikkaku," Yumichika said with a wide smile, letting his knives fall into his hands from his sleeves as if he were putting on a show.

"What? You're honestly gonna try to fight my crew?" The man was laughing hysterically. "There's no way two little guppies could possibly-"

"You know, I think it's strange," Yumichika interrupted, not much caring to hear the rest of the others taunt. "You're very big, yet you hide behind a mob of skinny, underfed ruffians that couldn't hold their own against a common merchant."

"What'd you say?" The gorilla asked, face going red with both embarrassment and rage.

"Only that you are obviously a coward. You don't have anything what so ever going for you, you're ugly," the brute's face was red and you could almost see the veins popping out of his forehead. "You have no taste in anything, you live on a filthy ship, and maybe the most important of all, you're weak."

Both captain and crew were riled up and angry. Ikkaku noticed that it was all deliberate, Yumichika was making his enemies so mad they could hardly see straight to make an easier job of cutting them down.

"You're," Ikkaku shook his head. "You're still bat shit crazy, but at least you're kinda smart."

"Why thank you, I'm guessing I should take such a thing as a complement," Yumichika answered and got ready for the crew to launch at them. "How about it, I take right, you take left?"

"Who takes the big guy?" Ikkaku asked grinning. He was anxious to cut open as many as he could now. Having reservations against fighting just wasn't his thing, he'd stay whether or not he got the ship.

"You, if you want him. I don't want to get my hands dirty fighting such an unrefined brute."

"Fine. You take whoever I leave over from getting to that bastard."

"Whatever works," Yumichika replied with a shrug.

The crew let out their battle cries and charged.

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Are pirates deaf? I only ask because the ocean is supposed to make subtle white noise that relaxes people... Pirates are violent thieves. I'm missing part of the equation, maybe? Great, homework. I'm out of school and I'm giving myself work.


	7. Don't Ask Stupid Things

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Ikkaku was surprised to see Yumichika cutting through masses of the weak crew so easily and fluidly, like a dance. Yumichika was surprised to see Ikkaku slash through four people at once without having to stop, with only one goal on his mind. Reach the captain and fight. He was obsessed with testing his strength against someone who was strong, and hardly cared fighting the bony crew. Blood splashed on him and decorated him with dark red splatters.

The only thing that Yumichika wondered was; Is Ikkaku actually concerned about the ship, or is he only here to get the rust off his sword?

There wasn't time to worry about why Ikkaku was so excited. The whole reason Yumichika lead them there was to fight, and to have a little fun. If Ikkaku just wanted to beat the shit out of the strongest one there, while Yumichika was checking for valuables and clearing out the ship of any surplus treasure, who was he to say anything?

"Ikkaku, careful," Yumichika cautioned.

"Whatever!" Was Ikkaku's uncaring response, too engrossed in the mowing operation, clearing the ship of its crew.

Ikkaku's face and clothing had splatters of blood like some sort of grotesque polka-dot pattern. Yumichika, although he had shorter blades and should have been subjected to more blood than his friend with his up close, slit the throat and move on, style, was almost clean. The only exception being a small spot of blood on his cheek that had spurted from a punctured jugular before Yumichika was able to get out-of-the-way.

After only thirty minutes, the crew was in tatters, the ones who were alive backed into a corner, afraid, and the captain stood staring blankly. He must have been unaccustomed to challenges In the first place, seeing as he was twice the size of a normal human and was made of bulk.

Neither of his challengers were afraid of that, not now at least. Fighting was something they both found to be one of the most enjoyable things to do. It was a way of life, and with each other no foe seemed as unbeatable as they might have when fighting alone.

"Ikkaku, I'm going to find something worth taking as a souvenir. Please don't do anything too rash while I'm gone," Yumichika cautioned and walked over to the cabin then descended into the deeper levels of the ship.

The larger man laughed. "I though ya be cowards, fightin' me together. This be only a joke, surely? Ya aren't cowards, ya just not right in the head!"

Ikkaku grinned. It wasn't the first time he'd heard that, and it wouldn't be the last. He didn't mind being insane, sanity was only something that could slow him down. His grin, in anticipation of an entertaining kill, was enough to send most running. Bringing his blood coated blade to his lips he licked a bit off as if to show the other man he was crazy, and proud to have left his sanity in the dirt along with the rest of the garbage values so many put on pedestals.

For a split second, Ikkaku's opponent let fear, shock, flash in his eyes. That was enough time to close the gap between them and use a quick execution thrust. If the man couldn't dodge something like that, he wouldn't be worth the effort.

Dodging wasn't required, though. With hardly any effort, the larger man caught Ikkaku's wrist and threw him as a child would a rag doll that they'd lost interest in. He skipped across the deck, narrowly avoiding impaling himself on his own sword as he flailed. If the blow caused any damage, Ikkaku didn't let it show as he got up and brushed off debris.

"What the hell 're you?"

"A nightmare, a bogey man, someone you should have run from 'fore this started," Ikkaku said with a maniacal grin plastered on his face.

"Don't get cocky, just 'cause you're alive this time."

"Me? Cocky? Don't be fucking stupid. I know I'm stronger than you, I don't need overconfidence," was his answer, emphasis on each word as if they were enemies he was eager to fight as well. The anticipation was pouring from his person, he was nearly shaking, his eyes were open so wide it looked like it hurt.

Despite the size and strength difference, the captain of the ship was beginning to be afraid. The opponent wasn't sane, or if he was, the idea of show that sanity was forsaken as he stepped into battle. Bloodsport caused this man in front of him to become nothing more than a semi-human focused on nothing but cutting down whomever was stupid enough to get in the range of his warpath.

There was a large cut running the length of his forehead to the tip of his lip that occurred when he was thrown, and his back must have been riddled with splintered cuts from the floorboards. He was still standing as if none of that mattered, smiling despite his own blood pouring into his mouth.

He was oblivious to any of it. Nothing mattered, only that he fought and killed. Rushing forward, Ikkaku brought his sword down, making a cut that ran from the length of his shoulder to lower stomach, and following with a sideways slash mid-torso, being stopped only because his opponent realized if he continued to fear, he'd continue to lose. Catching the hilt of the blade, the captain yanked the blood soaked sword and threw it into the floor a good ten feet behind him.

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Yumichika was traveling through corridors dimly lit with an oil lamp he had found. "There's simply nothing interesting here, at least not that I can find," he mumbled looking to both of his sides for a door that might lead him somewhere with anything valuable.

Just as he looked forward again, a blade was only an inch from his nose.

He jumped backwards. "Okay, maybe I really should be careful what I ask for. That was _not_ there when I was looking forward just a bit ago."

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"You think that makes a difference? I'll just beat the shit out of you with my bare hands. See, you can't beat me either way," Ikkaku said with a wide grin.

A banging sound came from underneath the floorboards, and Yumichika was shouting. "Be careful where you throw those swords, asshole! I'm down here."

"Yeah, yeah. You're making this less fun and you're not even up here."

"That almost took off my beautiful nose, you bastard!"

"Sorry, sorry," Ikkaku brushed off while rolling his eyes. "I don't have anymore swords and neither does this guy. Watch out for other weapons though."

"Fuck you!"

"After dinner, dear."

"Perverted piece of shit!"

The captain shook his head. "I don't know what's wrong with either or you, 'nd so far as I've seen, there's a hell of a lot 'rong with ya, but it's 'bout time to end this."

Ikkaku glared up, blood drying on his face and the splatters of his deceased opponent's turning to a dark red, nearly black. He was the picture of macabre when he grinned, and the embodiment of fear if he was angry. Again, the captain let his guard down at the frightening demeanor. "Well, this _is_ quite fun. Really, I think so," Ikkaku looked down. "But all things have to come to an end and you don't even seem to like fighting."

"'Course not! What's to like 'bout killin' someone else? Just do it for getting by," the Captain answered.

"I'll squeeze some more fun out of the match, I think, but really it's coming to an end," Ikkaku said lowly. He stretched his arms out, and seemed to be trying to pop one of his shoulders back into place. A good five minutes passed while the Captain of the ship was staring, not believing how casual Ikkaku was taking the whole thing now.

However, it left a great opportunity to attack. Ikkaku was encompassed in his task, he wasn't even looking at his opponent. The Captain ran forward to attack with a firm punch, but Ikkaku stepped out of the way effortlessly and used the force of the blow to throw the large man by grabbing his wrist and pushing him down.

He'd have to remember to thank Yumichika for that move.

"What the hell?"

"I'm stronger than you, and you're getting boring. I had fun with my sword, but only fighting hand to hand, it's hard to get excited. The more I get slashed up, the more blood involved, the more interesting, but there's not going to be a whole lot of pouring cuts when I'm just punchin' the fuck out of you," Ikkaku said with a yawn. Despite what he'd just said, the rotting wood of the deck pierced the skin and was causing the larger man to have cuts all over his arms and face, with multiple pieces of the deteriorating deck lodged in many cuts.

"Even when I do cut you like this," Ikkaku said. "The wood in your cuts just stops the blood from comin' out too much. Might get the shit infected, but what fun is that? Specially since it ain't gonna matter, you're gonna be worm meat in a couple a minutes anyways."

Walking casually, Ikkaku made his way to the Captain, who'd stood up by then and was ready for whatever was coming. No matter how skilled Ikkaku was, he didn't have more physical strength. He didn't even have a lot of original techniques. He was a brute, a pirate, a drunkard. Just like his opponent. They should be evenly matched.

But they weren't. Ikkaku had the intent to kill built into his every attack. He was the peak of crazy murderous bastards. If he wanted you dead, chances are you were going to die. His opponent wasn't like that. His opponent lived only for the living, didn't care for fighting even if he was skilled at it, and he was only aiming to defend and not attack.

He was playing a losing game, and falling further danger by using a pitiful strategy. Ikkaku's rabid attacks were bound to break through and kill eventually. The Captain had never even bothered picking fights with people who weren't in the least bit afraid to die before, they were the most dangerous kind of opponent, and the first time he met with that type of person on the battlefield, he met his death.

Almost giving up and resigning himself to his fate, the man went out fighting as he had lived. His best attacks, firm and unmovable punches were easily dodged, and countered with firm kicks to the Solar plexus, stopping the heart.

"Where the hell is Yumichika?" Ikkaku asked, walking over to the area where his sword was embedded in the deck. Pulling it out, he realized that the man he killed didn't even know his name, and he didn't know the others name.

Was it so pointless, for the whole thing to happen as it did? Only happening because it was such a dull day, and both of the bloodthirsty men who'd climbed onto someone elses ship for the reason only that they wanted to.

Maybe it was, Ikkaku thought with a shrug of his shoulders. Living the way he did, killing anyone whom he pleased and doing as he wanted lead to a thousand incidents exactly like this, only with different faces.

"Ikkaku?" Yumichika asked, carrying a large bag full of things he'd likely sell off later.

"Hm?"

"Have fun with you match?"

"It was boring after he threw my sword, but before that, yeah."

Yumichika smiled. "I got a lot of stuff you can sell and buy a boat to leave."

"I thought I was going to take this one?"

"It's too big for us to operate by ourselves, idiot."

"Us?"

"I'm going with you, don't ask stupid things. It's boring here, nothing ever happened until this, and I don't want to live an ugly life."

Ikkaku scoffed. "Don't be stupid, being a pirate isn't fun all the time, or beautiful."

"You're going to be there," Yumichika answered with a smile.

"So..."

"We'll be a team."

"Whatever."

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The end! Ha. Kind of happy ending? It's cute. I'm happy now.

There should be a sequel if I feel like it later. The story was supposed to go on for a while longer, but that didn't happen and I like this.


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